Being Made To Dance
Now I’m not one of life’s dancers. I’m one of life’s standers.
When I’m in some sort of social situation where there is music playing, I don’t walk up to people on the dance floor and drag them off, saying: “Come on. Stop being so demented. Come and stand with me. You’ll look less ridiculous”. So why do people do the reverse to me?
I don’t want to dance. If I did, I would be dancing. Furthermore, I would have danced regularly in the past. Have I? No. Why? Because I hate it. What do I hate most of all? Being forced into doing something that I hate.
Dancing is something that you can only pull off if you are relaxed. If you are relaxed, you go along with the music and people don’t really notice that you’re basically just flailing around as if you’re having some sort of fit. You blend in. On the other hand, if you’re feeling a little tense, you stick out like a sore thumb sporting flashing lights on a pedestal. You’ll be the only tense person dancing, because anyone feeling tense won’t be dancing. You will also be aware that you are the only tense person dancing. How will this make you feel?
As a result of this, you will be lucky to remain on your feet. The combination of a full-blown panic attack and the necessity to move in an unconventional manner will ordinarily cause you to fall, so factor in a few balancing manoeuvres and you start looking monumentally stupid. At this point, the sadist who dragged you onto the dance floor will say: “See. This is fun, isn’t it?”. They will usually only escape by dint of the fact that your mind will be fried by the conflicting emotions of panic, desire to eat their internal organs and the urge to break down and weep.
Never dance. It sets a precedent.
When I’m in some sort of social situation where there is music playing, I don’t walk up to people on the dance floor and drag them off, saying: “Come on. Stop being so demented. Come and stand with me. You’ll look less ridiculous”. So why do people do the reverse to me?
I don’t want to dance. If I did, I would be dancing. Furthermore, I would have danced regularly in the past. Have I? No. Why? Because I hate it. What do I hate most of all? Being forced into doing something that I hate.
Dancing is something that you can only pull off if you are relaxed. If you are relaxed, you go along with the music and people don’t really notice that you’re basically just flailing around as if you’re having some sort of fit. You blend in. On the other hand, if you’re feeling a little tense, you stick out like a sore thumb sporting flashing lights on a pedestal. You’ll be the only tense person dancing, because anyone feeling tense won’t be dancing. You will also be aware that you are the only tense person dancing. How will this make you feel?
As a result of this, you will be lucky to remain on your feet. The combination of a full-blown panic attack and the necessity to move in an unconventional manner will ordinarily cause you to fall, so factor in a few balancing manoeuvres and you start looking monumentally stupid. At this point, the sadist who dragged you onto the dance floor will say: “See. This is fun, isn’t it?”. They will usually only escape by dint of the fact that your mind will be fried by the conflicting emotions of panic, desire to eat their internal organs and the urge to break down and weep.
Never dance. It sets a precedent.
posted by Blue and Brown | 12:05 PM
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