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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Office Microclimate

People’s attitudes to it, really. In winter or summer, the temperature in the office is exactly the same. Technically, you should be all right wearing the same clothing year-round. Why do some people not experience temperature in this way?

If it is a cold day, they will come inside dressed in coat and scarf and mutter about being cold for seven hours. On a hot day they will come in exposing all of their flesh and go on about how they can’t bear the heat until you stuff their mouths with thirty-six ice cubes. This is despite the fact that the temperature inside the building is identical.

Why are they so stupid and why are their bodies so stupid as to agree with them? In winter they adjust the thermostat so that the temperature is three degrees higher ‘because it’s so cold’. In summer they lower it by three degrees ‘because it’s so hot’. You’re not making it three degrees hotter or cooler than outside, retards. Centigrade isn’t a fluctuating measurement dependent on outside temperature, it’s a constant.

Peope Who Can't Argue

Now I’m not one to argue. I’m more the bottle it up and then diss you on the internet type, unlike Destiny’s Child, who are ‘better than that’ and consequently better than me. Still, there are people who like to argue. Not all of them are able.

A poor arguer will often use ‘er’ to demonstrate that something is obvious, as in: ‘Er, I don’t think so’. This ‘er’ is used aggressively. Normally ‘er’ falls into the background. Here ‘er’ is the focus of what is said.

They will always disagree without a reason, like you did when you were seven: “Er, no it isn’t’, is seen as a worthy contribution to a debate. Or: ‘Actually, I think you’ll find it is’, if they’re arguing the opposite point of view.

Here is a sample argument between two people who can’t argue. You will notice it isn’t about anything, because these arguments never are:

A: Oh, you like them do you? I hate them. (‘A’ probably doesn’t hate them, but he likes to argue.)
B: Why?
A: Why not?
B: Give me one reason why you hate them.
A: You give me one reason why I shouldn’t hate them.
B: So you just hate things without knowing anything about them?
A: Yeah. What’s wrong with that?
B: Well, most people have to have a reason.
A: I don’t.
B: (Silence)
A: I win.

You will notice that A, the victor, announced his triumph. In stupid arguments you have to claim victory, because often the result is not apparent. At this point B can challenge A’s assertion of triumph by saying: ‘No, you didn’t’. If A feels that the challenge is unjustified, he can respond with: ‘Er, I did’ and the stakes are raised. Before long no-one knows what they are arguing about and nor is anyone going to give an inch.