People Who Sing In An American Accent

I've been thinking about this one for a while. It's not specifically an American accent, if we're being pedantic, it's the mid-Atlantic accent as used by Robbie Williams and any of those sickening twat-bags on Pop Idol or the X-Factor or any other carnival of musical shame.

I held off from including this because I noticed that Richard Ashcroft affects this tone when he sings and I'd always quite liked Richard Ashcroft. However, once I realised this I took an immediate dislike to any of his subsequent murmurings, thus proving my own point to myself.

It's an affectation. People adopt it because either they think it makes them sound cool or they think it makes them better singers. It makes them blander singers. The adoption of this accent to seem cool is even more moronic.

When I was about three I thought that being American was cool. That was because at the age of three, children will believe anything you tell them and Americans love to tell the world how cool they are. When I reached the age of four, I saw the folly in this way of thinking and amended my world view accordingly. I was a precocious child.

To me, the subtext of singing in a US accent is that the singer subconsciously (or consciously) wants to be American. This makes them as stupid as a three-year-old and if there's one thing that pisses me off, it's stupid people. People who are so stupid that they don't even know how stupid they are. Sing properly or I'll garrot you with the stars and stripes, you insecure, fawning pile of hair and shite.