Radio Pranksters

Radio pranksters like to upset people. You should always ‘be’ someone when you perform a prank. Then there is less chance that the victim will know that they are being tricked. In fact there should be absolutely no way that the victim can see through your prank. You can’t give them a chance. That would be no fun.

A sample radio prank would be to phone someone up pretending to be their doctor:

Victim (answering phone): Hello?
Prankster: Hello. This is Dr Wood, your doctor. I’m phoning you back about your test results.
Victim: Oh, yes?
Prankster: Unfortunately, I’ve got some bad news.
Victim: Oh dear… Go on.
Prankster: I’m afraid you’re going to die.
Victim: What?
Prankster: You’re going to die. Quite soon by the looks of it.
Victim: …
Prankster: How do you feel?

This is the funny part. The victim actually thinks they’re going to die. They’re actually sitting there coming to terms with their own mortality.

After a suitably hilarious interlude where the victim cries uncontrollably, the prankster reveals the truth. “We got you there, didn’t we? Had you going.”

Yes. Of course you did. The poor bastard didn’t have any reason to disbelieve you. They were expecting test results from the doctor and the doctor phoned with test results. Plus, who in their right minds expects a joke about something like this?

It’s not really that extreme an example. Any radio prankster’s joke is essentially the same thing. It’s a way of saying: “Look at me. Literally my greatest strength is an acute lack of empathy. That’s my defining characteristic. I can’t be clever. I can’t be funny. I don’t have anything to contribute to the world in any way, so instead I offer you the chance to marvel at my inhumanity. Have you any idea how many things I have to be shit at before I resort to this? It’s billions of things. I am shit at just about everything a person can do.”

That’s a picture of radio prankster, Steve Penk. He’s a twat.